http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/7914/20425313.jpg
You want to create a disp map for your diffuse?
Here is a tutorial with all the settings to create the normal maps :
http://www.marcusdublin.com/ParagalisTutorialPage5.html
As i said to DJ it seems your problem is the relation between the Low and Hi model.
Usually i create a clean Base (lowpoly) wich i use to build my Hi (cut ,edgeloops,turbosmooth etc).Once the Hi is done, i tweak my base (or clean my hi) and create the final Low version to match the Hi.This "avoid" or reduce the artefacts like in pic 1 and 2 in the first post.For the Hi i dont use smoothgroups,only for the Low when i need it to create hard edges (around 90 degrees angle).
To create the normalmaps,AO maps etc,i use 3ds max RTT or Xnormal (my favorite and very simple to use).Voila
